P5 Composition : How to score for Paper 1 and model on Trusting Someone



As many students move on from their Oral SA1 to their Paper 1, here are a few tips to help you in your writing.

(1) Study the theme and pictures carefully before you plan

Make sure that you understand what the theme is asking you to write about. In the theme above, ask yourself Who did you trust?  What was your secret?  and Was your trust betrayed?

With these three questions in mind, look at the pictures and select one or more of them, making sure that it or they are well integrated in your story.

(2) Have a good introduction and conclusion

Begin your story descriptively either through dialogue, descriptive setting or even flashback (if you are confident that you can pull it off). Avoid giving away the story in the 1st paragraph.

Conclude by mentioning the theme at the end and the lessons learnt

(3) Remember to use the theme

Mention the theme throughout the composition. In the model below I had asked my students to mention the theme at least 3 times.

(4) Flesh out your character

Give your character a personality and even some physical descriptions. The descriptions do not need to be too long..just enough for the readers to have an idea of who is the narrator of the story. In the model below, my student chose two characters, one with financial problems and the other who was his best friend who was an infamous tattletale.

Wishing all P5s all the best for their Paper 1 SA1!

PRIMARY 5:  TRUSTING SOMEONE

Sitting on my school desk, I placed my head on my table and sighed heavily.  My father had recently got retrenched from his job, hence, my family was in financial problems as my father was the sole breadwinner of the household.  Just thinking of the situation at home made me feel like shedding tears.  My family had to use my father’s savings to purchase food, household items and everyday needs.  Seeing my sudden mood change from my usual chirpy self to a very moody self, my best friend, Mark Bones came over and asked me what was wrong.  Looking at him, I whispered to Mark, “Meet me at the toilet after school!” Mark shot me a puzzled look but after a minute or so, nodded his head.

Time flew by and soon, it was the end of school.  By then, I was having second thoughts about confiding my secret to Mark.  One side of my brain kept egging me on to trust Mark as he was my best friend since primary one.  The other part kept saying that I should be cautious and not tell Mark my full situation as I was not sure if Mark would keep to his promise.  In the end, as I was walking towards the toilet, I decided that Mark was trustworthy and I would trust him with my secret.

Soon, I noticed Mark strolling back and forth along the aisle outside the toilet.  When Mark noticed me, he hurried forward and asked me what I wanted to tell him.  Mark was as eager as a beaver to know what was bothering me.  I brushed aside my gut instinct that was warning me not to trust Mark as Mark was an infamous tattletale.  But it was too late.  I leant forward and whispered silently into Mark’s ear about my family’s major financial crisis.  Mark looked at me in utter shock.  I looked at him in the eye and made him promise not to tell anyone.  Mark agreed instantly.  We even did a pinky promise.  Little did I know that my gut instinct was right…..

The next day, I walked into school and was shocked by what was written on the whiteboard – John’s family has financial problems, his family sucks at making money.  The effect was immediate.  The moment I stepped into class and everyone saw me, some of them mocked me and threw fake money on the ground and asked me if I needed donations.  The rich kids all sneered and leered at me, calling me too poor to even go to this school.  Some even said I was so poor that I was a disgrace to this school.

I was flabbergasted.  I had not expected this and just stood – rooted to the ground, mouth agape.  Then, recovering from my shock, I began putting the pieces together in my brain, like a puzzle.  I soon realised that the only person I ever told about my financial problems was Mark.  It dawned on me that Mark had betrayed me.  I walked over to Mark’s seat and erupted.  I screamed at him about betraying me and not living up to his promise.  “Our friendship is over!”  I bellowed.  With that, I stormed away, leaving Mark regretting his actions.

From that day, I understood that sometimes you have to trust your gut feeling.  Also I learnt to place my trust more carefully and not making the same mistaking and trusting someone like Mark.