P6 Composition: Achieving a goal

As many students move on from their Oral SA1 to their Paper 1, here are a few tips to help you in your writing.

(1) Study the theme and pictures carefully before you plan

Make sure that you understand what the theme is asking you to write about. In the theme above, ask yourself What is the goal and How do I achieve it?

With these two questions in mind, look at the pictures and select one or more of them, making sure that it or they are well integrated in your story.

(2) Have a good introduction and conclusion

Begin your story descriptively either through dialogue, descriptive setting or even flashback (if you are confident that you can pull it off). Avoid giving away the story in the 1st paragraph.

Conclude by mentioning the theme at the end and the lessons learnt

(3) Remember to use the theme

Mention the theme throughout the composition. In the model below I had asked my students to mention the theme in every paragraph as a writing technique practice.

My student also wrote in as much detail as possible, how his character achieved the goal.

(4) Flesh out your character

Give your character a personality and even some physical descriptions. The descriptions do not need to be too long..just enough for the readers to have an idea of who is the narrator of the story. In the model below, my student chose a character who was overweight and bullied.

Wishing all P6s all the best for their Paper 1 SA1!

PRIMARY 6:  ACHIEVING A GOAL

“Fatty!” “Fried Chicken!”  I bawled my eyes out as I ran along the corridor towards the toilet.  I could not help it that my favourite food was pizza and burgers!  Why did I have to have all these fats on my body?  All my classmates had nicknamed me ‘Oliver the Overweight’.  I was always a victim of name-calling and was always marked as overweight in my report book.  The rude remarks about my body were endless.

After regaining my composure, I walked back to class, alone and with my head hung low.  Just then, I noticed a poster for a running competition!  I swivelled around and saw the words “East Wood Primary School’s Annual Big Race”.  An idea started forming in my mind.  A small grin crept up onto my face as I thought, “Perhaps I could take part in this competition!  I do not even have to win.  Just participating in the competition may just be the thing to put a stop to the rude comments about my body.  I nodded my head with satisfaction and thought of a plan to gain my classmates’ respect and achieve my goal.

After school, I immediately hopped on the bus that was headed to Ang Mo Kio Avenue 3.  When I reached home, I pulled out my mother’s yoga mat and placed it in front of the sofa.  Tucking my ten toes snugly underneath the sofa, I placed my hands on my head and tried to touch my knees.  I had seen my athletic classmates do sit-ups before, but I never thought they would be that difficult to do!  After much effort, I finally managed to do one sit-up.  “Time for a snack!” I thought.  Though I was dying to get my hands on a Hershey’s chocolate bar, I pulled myself back to reality and pushed myself to complete five sit-ups.  I knew that I had to find ways to achieve my goals.

Panting, and exhausted, I searched for the Nike sports shoes my parents had bought for me but it had never been used.  I slipped my feet into them and started jogging one round around the estate.  By that time, I already felt like collapsing and wanted to eat my favourite ‘Carbonara’.  Instead, I took out my mother’s salad from the fridge.  “Uurgh” I said as I stared at the green leafy vegetables and quail eggs.  However, I tried to stomach it.

I continued this daily routine and soon, five sit-ups became twenty sit-ups, and sixty kilograms went down to fifty-seven kilograms!  Not long after, it was the day of the big race.   All the participants lined up at their positions on the track.  When my competitors saw me, they smirked and whispered to each other that I would embarrass myself.  That did nothing to dampen my mood.  I had worked too hard to let this opportunity slip out of my hands.  I had to achieve my goal and stop my classmates from teasing me.

“Ready, steady, GO!”  Everyone zoomed off with all eyes on the finish line.  My thigh muscles burned and my feet ached, but I persevered on.  Soon, I picked up speed and ran past one… then two competitors!  The spectators watched with mouths agape and jaws dropped.  I directed all my strength into my leg muscles, got ready for my last burst of energy and…. I crossed the Finish Line!

I jumped up and down in jubilation, punching my fist in the air and whooping with joy!  Though I only got twenty first place out of twenty-four people, I had earned my classmates” respect.  I now walked with my head held high as I am no longer mocked by my classmates and I had achieved my goal of completing the race.