P3 Composition – At The Beach

The P3 class has just completed a term at Thinking Factory and I have been reviewing the positive progress that they have made.

Writing compositions (along with Paper 2 components) is a weekly practice in both P3 and P4 classes at the centre. However, the end goal for each term is different for both levels.

The first term for the P3s was focused on Planning.

Writing down their ideas to form their stories is the start of all good writers. When they are able to plan out their stories, they are able to paragraph their stories correctly.

In the first term, I guided them on their planning until I felt that they were able to differentiate on how to plan for each paragraph. Now they have begun to plan certain sections on their own.

Last week we worked on a composition entitled At The Beach. I took the pictures from the P4 English Mages assessment book. To be honest, the pictures are a little strange, especially the one showing the crab dangling from a character’s back. However, my students found it amusing. One even asked me if her Solution could be catching the crab and having a barbecue with it! I have taken the model composition, (after some corrections,) from her. As you can see, we decided against the barbecue Solution :p


Model- At The Beach

Introduction

                (introduction of setting & characters) It was the start of the June holidays. My family and I were on our vacation at a beach resort in Thailand. One morning, we decided to go to the beach near the resort. (description of the setting – the beach) The sun was shining brightly and the sound of the waves was soothing as it lapped gently. I liked the relaxing feel of the soft, white sand under my feet. It was such a relaxing holiday except for my mischievous cousin, Jason. He was always getting into trouble.

Problem

                (use of dialogue) Father said, “Let’s have a family sandcastle contest!”

                I shouted, “Yeah!”

                (description of problem) However, Jason, was not interested in the contest. Instead, he found a stick and started digging up the sand. While digging, he found a baby crab that started to crawl up his stick. I warned him to leave the baby crab alone but he continued to provoke it. He started to poke the crab and threw it in the air. I sighed and went back to building my sandcastle.

                (descriptive climax) Suddenly, I heard a loud yelp. “Ouch!”Jason cried. I whipped my head back in shock. I ran as fast as lightning to ask Jason what had happened. He pointed frantically to his back. At first I could not see anything wrong but when I looked more closely,  I gasped when I saw what it was.

Solution

                “Father! Father! There is a crab on Jason’s back. Help father!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Father ran over and took a look at Jason’s back. He gently pried the crab from his back and threw it into the sea. There was a big, red wound on his back and blood seeped from it.

                Jason was crying and in a lot of pain so father whipped out his mobile phone and called the nearest hospital to the beach. In fifteen minutes, the ambulance arrived and sent Jason to the hospital. The doctor gave cleaned Jason’s wound and bandaged it.

Ending

                (ending – theme) Even though Jason had a bad experience, we still continued to enjoy our holidays at the beach.  Once bitten twice shy. Jason learnt his lesson well and was not mischievous anymore.


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