P4 Composition- Falling Sick

It is always a pleasure to realise that your younger students are blossoming into good writers. This year, I began a new P4 2018 class. For the first time, I took students who would be in P3 2018 to join my P4 class. These two students had a sibling/cousin previously with me. In this way, I knew that I could work with the parent should an issue arise.

It has been almost 9 months since they started in October 2017 and the class has progressed very well. We are looking to begin on P5 work soon, as they all transition over next year.

I have enjoyed watching them meet the challenges set. They have made tremendous progress from barely writing one page to almost 2 and a quarter pages now. All within the time frame given. And most importantly, enjoying what they are doing.

The composition below is an example. Some weeks I guide them by giving helping phrases or planning together. Other weeks they are left on their own to plan and dig into their own creativity and vocabulary bank of descriptive phrases. For this composition we had planned the story together, using all the pictures given.


Write a story about Falling Sick

“Pass it to me!” John exclaimed. John and his friends were out playing soccer after school at the school field. They were having a whale of a time.              

However, soon, dark ominous clouds covered the once brightly lit sky. It began to drizzle and then pour. All of John’s friends immediately grabbed their bags from the benches and headed home. All, except for John. He wanted to practice his soccer moves to win the soccer game the next day.  It was also the day that his best friend, James, was having his birthday party.  

“Come on John!” James called out, “You can fall sick playing in the rain!”              

John ignored his best friend’s advice and continued kicking the ball around. After thirty minutes of playing in the rain, John walked home, drenched and covered in mud. When his mother caught sight of him ambling into the house, she was shocked to see him dripping wet. It was then that realisation dawned on her.  

“Why have you been out playing in the rain?” John’s mother demanded.  

“I don’t know,” John lied.              

John’s mother reprimanded John harshly like a fire-breathing dragon.  

“Go upstairs at once and shower with hot water! Now!” John’s mother boomed.  

Once again John ignored the advice. Instead of doing what his mother had instructed, John went up to his room to play computer games. After awhile he felt tired and slept soundly on the bed.              

The next day at 9am, John woke up. His eyes were feverish, his body felt like it was on fire and his lips were very dry. John quickly put his palm on his forehead and realised that he was having a bout of fever. He weakly told his mother and begged her to send him to the doctor. John’s mother reprimanded him for being disobedient and brought him to the doctor. The doctor examined the patient, John, thoroughly, peered into his mouth, checked his pulse and blood pressure. The doctor decided to prescribe some antibiotics and painkillers.              

Once bitten twice shy. John regretted playing in the rain. As a result of falling sick, he could not go to James’s birthday party. He also had to miss his soccer game. John promised to always obey his mother’s instructions and never to play soccer in the rain again.