Primary 4 Composition – A Problem
Recently, I gave my P4 students a Composition Test in class. If a composition test is given, it simply means that I won’t help them in their planning or ideas, which I usually do. I chose the topic of A Problem (this topic will also be in the March E-learning programme for P3/P4 but with a different Model Answer).
I prepared a Model Answer for my students but after reading one of my students’ compositions, I thought I should share it on the blog. I felt that her use of dialogue was clear in communicating the theme and her ideas across. Many times, students add in dialogue to fill in the gaps in ideas. The use of dialogue in a composition should be done sparingly and only to bring about feelings or ideas based on the theme. I also liked the fact that there was a touch of humor in the story, not always easy to do when you only have 45 minutes to write out the composition!
Primary 4 composition picture:
“Dring!” my alarm clock rang. I rubbed my eyes sleepily and got dressed in a white T-shirt and pale blue jeans. I left a note on the dining table informing my parents that I had to go to school for an urgent CCA meeting. Carrying my money box, I sneaked out of the house as quiet as a mouse. It was still dark so I had some fun in the playground before heading to the mall to buy my mother her birthday present.
By the time I reached the mall, it was packed like sardines. I squeezed my way through the crowd uttering, “Excuse me, sorry, ” every now and then. “Finally!” I gasped as I entered the shop. The cool blast of air hit me and I immediately felt refreshed. I headed over to the counter and asked the sales lady, “Excuse me, do you have this antique vase?”“Yes, “she replied, “There is just one left over on the shelf.” As the lady grabbed the vase from the shelf, a customer in the very crowded shop bumped into her. She lost her grip on the vase and it fell from her hand, smashing into smithereens.
“Nooo!” I lamented. My mother’s favourite vase that she had she been chasing for for so long was broken! “Don’t worry,” comforted the kind lady, “We also have other types of similar vases.” I heaved a sigh of relief that I did not come to the mall for nothing. Selecting one, I headed back home ready to celebrate my mother’s birthday.
At home, I found a note on the table that read, “Dear Samantha, we saw your note on the dining table. Your brother, mother and I have gone to the Botanic Gardens to celebrate your mother’s birthday. Here is $50. Go buy your own lunch. Love, Daddy”. Seriously? I lamented once again, not another problem!