P5/P6 Composition – A Mishap
Recently, we worked on a composition about A Mishap. A mishap is an unlucky accident. I gave my students three pictures (as seen below). After planning and discussion, those who chose to write about the car accident, wrote it from the perspective of one of the drivers.
Some of the character we came up with were:
- a perpetually late and stressed out Mr Tan,
- a proud and stingy Mr David who had saved all his money to buy his brand new sports car, only to crash it on the first day of driving.
- Mr Lim, who liked to have a few beers before leaving the office
- Dad who had spent the whole night watching soccer on TV so he fell asleep for a few seconds behind the wheel
The model composition I have chosen is from my P6 2016 student who wrote about unexpected turbulence on a plane. We talked about how this can occur in real life. (Anyone remembers the SQ flight to Japan a few years back when passengers were injured due to unexpected turbulence?)
Take note of how she describes simple things such as boarding the plane and the plane taking off in detail. The sentences in bold have been added by me to add in more descriptions about the turbulence.
P5/P6 Composition picture
Electrifying. That was the word to describe the tension in the air. Squeezing May’s sweaty palm in mine, I pulled her to the last seats in the row, the least spacious ones. At least they would be more private, I thought to myself, shivering with excitement. It would be the best holiday ever! However, it was not just a holiday. It was an immersion trip to visit schools in China.
“Please fasten your seat belts. The plane will take off soon,” the pilot’s baritone voice boomed into the cockpit’s microphone.
Tugging at the black seat belt, I stuffed its shiny silver buckle into the seat belt fastener. I turned my head to face May, who beamed with pride, showing off her fastened seat belt. In a jiffy, the whirring of the plane’s monstrous engines could be heard over the incessant chatter of my classmates. The plane then lunged forward at breakneck speed, its wings catching the wind. My classmates let out a ‘Wow’ in unison as we felt the jerk of the plane that signified the plane finally taking off.
I stared at the boats on the glistening blue ocean, slowly becoming tinier and tinier as the plane flew upwards gradually. Turning back to May, I spied her tugging at her seat belt, trying to remove it after the seat belt sign had been switched off.
“May, do not remove your seat belt, even though the seat belt sign is off. The seat belt has saved lives before!” I nagged her.
“Do you understand the word ‘Freedom’?” May replied, giving me an icy, cold glare.
Sighing, I rolled my eyeballs. The only thought that went through my mind was that May was such a stubborn girl.
Suddenly, I felt like I was on a death-defying roller coaster ride. My body plummeted as my heart remained in my mouth. I was jerked around violently but the seat belt pushed me back and kept me in place. Strangled screams and moans resonated throughout the plane and thumps could be heard. I heard a familiar ‘Urgh’ next to me and saw May in a sprawl on the hard floor of the plane. grimacing before she seemed to black out.
What had just happened? The pilot apologised for not being able to flash the seat belt sign on time. He had had no choice but dive down to avoid storm clouds. It was a split second plunge but the cabin was in chaos. Groans could be heard as some passengers who had removed their seat belts were injured.
I hoisted May’s limp body onto her seat. Reaching for her wrist, I checked to see if she was still breathing. Her hands were cold. Was she dead? The icy fingers of fear gripped and tightened its iron fist around me as a tear trickled forlornly down my cheek, before a heavy flow of tears poured from my bleary eyes. How would I tell her parents that she had died? The family would be devastated I though, sobbing to myself.
Then May’s eyes fluttered open. “What happened?” she muttered in a daze. She was alive! I hugged her like a vice, not willing to let go. “You hit your head and passed out. All because you did not leave your seat belt on!” I explained.
The air stewards and stewardesses went around checking on the passengers and giving them first aid as well as drinks and food. Soon, we landed safe and sound. The airplane ride was really a memorable one even though tears were shed. I was sure that May had learnt her lesson to always leave her seat belt on unless absolutely necessary when she is on a plane. I had also learnt my lesson- never to jump to conclusions.