Using the theme correctly is important in composition writing. It is easy for even good writers to lose track of the theme even a little and marks can be subtracted.
During the planning stage of this composition, I had to ask students to change their plots more often than not. I did not accept plots that were not ‘unusual’. For example finding a someone else’s name on your birthday cake.
The key focus was on the word unusual or out of the ordinary. In this composition, my student had followed the brief given. The usual calm setting was a bit eerie, the character was dressed unusually and the object found was scary and unusual.
We decided that there was no need to provide an explanation to the unusual incident in the conclusion, as long as she had written the plot realistically.
I felt that she had done an excellent job with her descriptions as well as manipulating the themes. I hope that you enjoy reading this composition as much as I enjoyed marking it 🙂
PRIMARY 6: AN UNUSUAL INCIDENT
I quickened my steps as I warily eyed my surroundings. The birds positioned on the lush, green trees were not chirping merrily as usual. The air around me was stifling. Looking at the long, winding lane, I was reminded of the fact that I had to walk through this deserted park with nobody to help me, should anything go wrong. I always took the same route back home after school, but today the park seemed particularly unusual as it gave off an eerie feeling, making me shudder my shoulders unwittingly.
Just then, I noticed an odd lady walking along the lane in front of me. Strangely, she seemed to be gliding, shuffling and dragging her feet on the ground all at the same time. Her waist-length hair was grey and especially tangled. Her long nails with dirt in between were yellowed with age and the wrinkles and folds on her arm reminded me of the witch in my fairytale book, although she did not have a broom with her or carrying a pot of frog stew around. There were no other passersby around. Despite my belief that witches were non-existent, I did not want to take any chances and decided to use the longer, but supposedly “safer” route to go home.
I heaved a sigh of relief as I walked along the other lane. To my horror, I closed my eyes for a millisecond to blink and when I opened them, the same lady who I had seen earlier appeared in front of me again! Cold sweat began to drip down profusely from my forehead as I tried to take deep breaths to calm myself down. My heart rate increased almost instantly and my eyes widened in shock. How could such a weird incident like this happen in broad daylight?
Just as I was about to faint in anxiety, the “witch” turned her head slightly to look at me. Her nose was crooked, ugly warts dotted her lopsided face. Surprisingly, her eyes were a beautiful crimson blue, which resembled the gorgeous ocean waters. For a moment, I was in awe of this woman who I had earlier labelled as evil and ruthless. However breathtaking her eyes were, they seemed to tell a sad story. Her eyes looked lonely and desperate, as if she was deprived of something she once loved very dearly, and was calling out for help.
She turned back quickly and hastened her steps. As she moved, something black dropped out of her bag. I picked up the black object and realised it was a book. Curious, I leafed through the pages, but like its cover page, they were painted plain black. I then looked up to return the book but the lady had disappeared, vanished into thin air and she was nowhere to be seen. Traumatised by the incident, I left the book where it had fallen and ran back home.
That night, I could not sleep. This unusual incident left me perturbed and anxious. I never told anyone what had happened that day. Who was this lady? What book was that? Nobody will ever know.
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Primary 6 English tuition class schedule
|Day||Start time||End time|
|Wednesday||3.00 pm||5.00 pm|
|Wednesday||5.00 pm||7.00 pm|
|Saturday||9.00 am||11.00 am|
|Saturday||11.00 am||1.00 pm|